I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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