I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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