and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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