I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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