after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize