so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
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I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
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Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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