please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
