Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
