I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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