I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize