shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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