It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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