Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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