I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
