i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
