Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
