I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize