Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
