Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
