I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
