"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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