dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
