Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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