If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
