Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...