FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?