do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me