We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.