i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish I only lived at night.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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