Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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