Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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