awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
