Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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