My liver just broke up with me...
even my farts smell like vagina
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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