I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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