no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
