I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
