So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize