now i know why i became what i already was.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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