remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
