i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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