you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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