dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
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