glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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