I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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