im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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