the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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