um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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