i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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