I don't usually arrange sex via text message
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize