Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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