My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
