I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize