I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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